Saturday, March 25, 2006

Aaaaah! There's nothing like a nice latte as I sit by the river of fire and listen to the wails of souls in torment for eternity to start the morning out in the most delicious way. I'm in a chipper mood today, and I can't quite place my finger on it.
In the United States, there was an awful murder, a wife had shot her husband, and I blieve it was because she was suffering from post-partum depression. Usually, the woman will kill her children, which always depresses me, not because I don't like to see children die, it's because no matter what Pat Benatar sings, Hell is not for children. It is for murderers, however, just ask recent resident Slobodan Milosevic. And that means that this woman is certainly going to join the chorus down here.
The downside to that is murder victims almost always end up up there, with Him. God, I hate Him! He gets to sit up there all day long, angels singing his praises, I hated that! So to me, sitting by the river of fire is my equivalent. And while I'm on the subject of singing praises, all the awful heavy metal music glorifying me-it sucks! They think they're currying my favor by doing so, but all they're doing is asking for a hotter spot down here, the Pit Of Extremely Hot Torment. The Pit is a thousand times hotter than the river itself, and is reserved for those who have displeased me the most.
Well, I must be off. Today we're having a dart throwing contest using six inch yellow jacket bee stingers as the darts. And the dartboard? Ronald Reagan's ass. This day might not be so bad after all!

3 Comments:

Blogger qrswave said...

Very interesting.

I'll be back.

to the blog...not hell. I'll not be visiting you there, God willing.

6:09 PM  
Blogger I'm The Devil, Who The Hell Are You? said...

I wouldn't be so sure about that? Let me look up your file.....

6:18 PM  
Blogger AJ said...

Nothing like graphics near the river Styx in the morning to get you pumped up...

7:05 PM  

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