Saturday, July 15, 2006

Sorry fans! I've been too busy to post as of late. One of my many duties, as you may well know, is programming for the Fox television network. You don't know how many situation comedy pilots I'vce had to watch with doofus dads that have hot teenage daughters and wives equally hot but trying harder to be the cool parent than the good parent. There's not enough aspirin in the world to remove the headache I have-massive!
Then a couple weeks ago, another prestigious visitor came who needed a "proper" welcome-Ken Lay! I took all his vital parts, teeth, eyes, tongue, and others and keep them in a jar on a shelf in my office. if ever he needs them, he must beg (which is hard when you don't have a tongue) me to borrow them so he can, maybe eat, or go to the bathroom! The jar is filled with tabasco sauce, so when he puts them back in-Pain!
Then I had reams of paper work to fill out-too many lawyers down here! When I finished that, it seemed somebody started another war with out clearing it with me-Damned Zionists! This has got all the "Christians" excited, as they think this is the start of the end times.
You know, the Bible warns of false prophets? Well, a lot of people in the United States believe these are truly holy men-as if! These are men who profess to speak with God, if He's too damn busy to take my calls, why would He take theirs? All they are doing is filing their coffers to build churches that glorify not Him, but themselves. If He wanted to build a church, he would just do it! He built the earth for Pete's sake, you think that simple architecture would be no problem! Any rich man who has hand out is just plain greedy!
Well, I hate to leave so soon after being gone so long-busy! I have to go and "edit" the next Ann Coulter book, so I need more sources to plunder!